If you lied about that to me, and then we went out and at some point you told me or I otherwise found out the truth, I would not go out with you again. I suspect I’d also have questions that would never go away about what else you were lying about, even if I stayed with you, and of course eventually that would kill the relationship.
I’m sorry you’re on a cold streak and struggling to get dates right now, but a situation like this is uncomfortable and worse than no dates at all for all parties. If someone rules you out based on characteristics that you can’t change, you guys are not going to be a good match. posted by J. Wilson at 5:58 AM on
It’s a lie that would make you seem very insecure, which is a turn-off, and it’s also a lie that’s specifically designed to trick people into dating you, which would piss me off (even though I’d otherwise be fine with dating someone your age if I were single)
I kind of think you should just try it for a couple of weeks and see what happens. My guess is not much, unless 34 happens to be just above an arbitrary line a lot of men have set — like how people will price a house at $199,000 because so many people set their price filters at an even number. I would have thought 35 was more likely to be that arbitrary line, but that’s just an assumption.
As someone at the upper end of your age range, 32 is not any more attractive to me than 34, but I can see it making a big deal to someone who is 33. Purely based on their stories, I’d have guessed that women fudge their ages more often, while men seem to feel fine about using photos that are ten or more years old, but really things are probably more balanced. So you’ll have lots of company if you do take this path. posted by Forktine at 6:12 AM on
Oh, I feel your pain – I’m 48. That, unfortunately, screens out a lot of men (even on the West Coast). BUT, quality is far better than quantity. I’d rather be single than date a man who is my age but thinks a 48-year-old woman is old and decrepit while he’s in the prime of his life.
If I value a relationship (or a friendship) based upon trust and honesty, how can I ask for that if I tell a lie first thing out of the gate?
My situation is slightly different in that I don’t have or want kids of my own, and anyone who sees my real age will know that ship has sailed anyway. (Which has its upside in that any man looking for a brood mare won’t click on my profile, either. Hah.)
I have decided I will tell the truth and take my lumps. How can I complain about men who lie about their income, height, not honest? I’d rather give and receive honesty than start my relationship (or fun date) out with a lie.
Chances are that someone who clicks on your profile based on a fake age will not want to continue the relationship when he finds out the truth. And someone who won’t even look at a woman his own age because he’s entitled, dammit, to someone younger, is not a man you want.
Yes, it sucks big hairy donkey balls to be screened out automatically because of your age. But it sucks bigger, hairier elephant balls to lie in order to attract dates, because honesty and trust are vital to good relationships.